Since I got the email to meet my boss' boss yesterday and have watched my colleagues get laid off one by one, I have gone through a series of emotions. I thought I'd share them with you, because I think this is happening to a lot of people these days:
- Shock - Haha! I'm going to get laid off! How silly, what a funny drama!
- Fear - How am I ever going to find another job in this economy? How am I going to take care of my wife and kids? Where's the next paycheck going to come from?
- Self-recrimination - Man I fucked up. I shouldn't have switched groups. I didn't do enough to make myself known to management. I didn't try enough to find another job when I saw this coming. I should have known they would kill this project. Maybe I was too lazy. I'm really not that good a programmer, that's why they're letting me go. I guess I just don't have what it takes.
- Anger - What's wrong with them? Don't they see I'm valuable? Why do all my friends in my old group get to stay and I have to go? Why wasn't I one of the ones they kept? Those bastards don't know what they're losing. Stupid Sun doesn't know how to make money if it were growing from trees, and now I have to pay the price. Jerks.
- Sadness - I really liked working for Sun. I was proud to be part of Sun. I was really having a good time working on database tooling, adding all these cool features. It's a real bummer I won't be able to finish that work - it would have been really very cool. I'll miss the team too, we were having a great time.
- Resignation - Ah well, it is what it is. Let's just see what happens next.
- Attitude adjustment - I'll be taken care of. This is an opportunity. When something leaves, it makes room for something new to come in. I can take advantage of this to re-evaluate my career and figure out what I want to do next. Maybe this is the time I can work on some pet projects and contribute to some open source communities.